UK Survey Reveals Nation’s Preferred Banana Ripeness

The poll, conducted by the British Institute of Fruit Psychology, asked over 9,000 people across the UK to choose their ideal banana ripeness from a series of images.

The most selected option was bright yellow, no spots, chosen by 39% of respondents who then admitted they rarely catch a banana at that stage. “It happens around 3:42am on day four,” said one participant from Cardiff. “You have a twelve-minute window. Miss it, and you’re back in the moral swamp of soft fruit.”

28% said they prefer bananas with some brown spots, often explaining their choice with phrases like “it’s more forgiving” or “it just feels wiser.” One man in Nottingham said, “I used to be a bright yellow guy. Then I did therapy.”

14% chose slightly underripe, using words like “firm,” “controlled,” and “predictable.” Many said it made them feel “healthier,” even if they didn’t enjoy it. Several mentioned “less sugar,” often citing a podcast they half-listened to on a walk in 2021. One man said, “I never actually checked if it’s true. But it feels true.”

3% went with fully green, which researchers described as “statistically concerning.” These respondents were mostly men who use the word “prepper” unironically. One man claimed it “tastes more efficient.”

10% said they like fully brown bananas, though nearly all clarified: “only for baking.” Most admitted they rarely follow through. A woman in Glasgow said she has five in the freezer. One man said he brought his with him during a house move. This group was also the most likely to own a loaf tin but store batteries in it.

Less than 1% said they’ll eat bananas at any stage. This group included NHS shift workers, a beekeeper from Dorset, and one guy in Croydon who wrote “DON'T CARE” in all caps six times.

Political trends also emerged:

Lib Dem voters changed answers mid-survey, often while talking.
Conservative respondents chose yellow, denied the banana was overripe, then threw it out.
Green Party voters leaned toward brown and mentioned compost unprompted.
Reform UK supporters spent most of their time complaining that “fruit used to last longer in the '70s before Brussels got involved.”

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